Dating in London: Why it’s DEAD!

Dating in London: Why it’s DEAD!

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A little over a year ago I decided to start dating again. I love this city, I grew up here and it kind of helps to have an understanding of the type of people you might meet here. But I’m not gonna lie, it’s been rough, you guys.

Like, REALLY rough.

You’d think in a city with 8.9 million other fish in the sea, dating in London wouldn’t be that hard. Well, you would be very, very wrong. London can be a terrible city to be single in, and it doesn’t even make sense. London – A city that is always awake and buzzing, so many events for any interest to attend, parties, restaurants, 24 hour shops, bars, pubs, clubs, libraries, art galleries, 24 hour gyms… 8.9 million people and all I keep coming across are these same sad excuses for dates that apparently do not have one romantic bone in their body. Let me know if you’ve been greeted by these typical dating in London types :

• The Newbie.
• The Cheapskate.
• The Trendy Hispter That Knows A Place In Shoreditch.
• The One That Won’t Travel. Anywhere.
• The One Thats ALWAYS On Holiday.
• The Picky One That Shuns All Your Recommendations.
• The Gym Freak.
• The One You Have ABSOLUTELY Nothing In Common With.
• The Instagram Whore.
• The One That Knows Everyone.

And last but not least,

• The Fuck Boy

I haven’t met a genuinely single interested guy, GENUINE & SINGLE being the key words here, in quite a while. I’ve been ghosted more times than I can count, ghosted men because the silliest things give me the ick, alongside major ick’s (Read more here…) and it’s a rarity to meet anyone who isn’t just looking for a casual hookup. I hate it here.

Why is everyone looking for a one night stand? Do we not do 3 month romantic/belly laughing flings anymore?

I have friends that have had great experiences with dating apps, great dates, casual hookups, no strings attached, happy relationships and even starting families together but, but, but, why is this not working for me?

I can’t say I’ve ever had an enjoyable or really good date with anyone I have dated through any of the apps. I fully cannot say that.

Dating has become a chore, it’s not fun and it’s very pretentious.

Dating in London: Why it’s DEAD!

Has anyone else had this same trouble trying to meet people? Is it just me? Am I too picky or am I just that hopeless?

There are 8.9 million people in London. A recent poll suggested as many as 44% of Londoners consider themselves to be single. If there are potentially 3.9 million single people in London, why is it so hard to date and find love in England’s capital?!

This is London, where everyone seems to be constantly rushing somewhere, spending stupid amounts of time commuting to work and back trying to make ends meet, ending up being too tired to do anything but eat and sleep, except for the weekends maybe – and the fact that dating apps created this horrible culture of an unquenchable thirst where there’s always somebody else out there, someone more that somebody’s type, someone taller, more beautiful, richer, with a better social status… Why stop at you and focus on you? There might be something even better lurking around the corner – How ridiculous is this?

It seems to me that half or even more of half of the “people” signed up and active on dating apps are unreal or have an alternative agenda or reason for actually being on a dating app.

*cough* Marketing *cough*

I think the whole “app” thing has gone past its peak usefulness. Now people treat the dating pool as a market/sweet shop where they can change at will and present the very worst version of themselves.

And, can we talk about the hookup culture here, how detrimental it is knowing you’re a well rounded human being, intelligent and beautiful YET, Head of Finance based in Liverpool Street decided to knock you back but swipes right on the local bike that has no brains, no substance or depth and literally has just an open vagina, unshaven. I’ve seen it happen all too often, sorry to my guy mates that inform me of these shenanigans but I had to share this and I appreciate you all <3

It really winds me up, and, this is why dating in London is DEAD.

It wasn’t always like this though, it’s like something happened to men in London around 2019, actually it’s possible we can blame Covid but I feel like thats way too light and an easy excuse. Anyway, prior to 2019 when I met people organically, dating in London, I had some really nice dates, enjoyed eating out at restaurants like Novikov and STK, guys didn’t really care about the expense I’ll be honest, I met guys that were real gentlemanly and a bit rough round the edges (I guess I have a type…) but they would open doors for me, make sure I had snacks in the car, make me feel special and remind me I am beautiful without saying too much or being cheesy, they were fully on romancing and impressing me. Dating was fun and it brought out my femininity, it was good vibes, partying, car drives listening to music, go karting, playing golf, I’ve had a few fun flings, a serious relationship, things fizzled out, I tried to enter the dating world again and then boom. All of a sudden things changed… There were no men to meet throughout lockdown, I joined Tinder and Hinge and would just get disgusting messages like “Yoo big bum come sit on this d**k” – Ah… Nah!

Dating in London: Why it’s DEAD!

Dating in London: Why it’s DEAD!

There was even this one guy that messaged me asking do I live alone and can he come to live at my house… Erm no thank you.

FFWD to 2022 and I have not stopped being approached by young snapchat guys “yo sexy you got snapchat?”

SORRY!!!

SORRY?!

SERIOUSLY.

What is it about me.

That makes you think.

That you can approach me like that.

AND.

Can you not see I am not your age little man?!

Dating in London: Why it’s DEAD!

It’s the audacity for me, but yeah all this snapchat culture, app dating bs is rife in London so, unless you want finance assistant from Fleet Street to buy you drinks on the companies credit card to secure the one bang and then ghost you the next day, or end up on someones snapchat story with your cheeks clapping so they can get “clout” and “build a following” my advice is do not date in London. It’s boring, repetitive and ultimately DEAD.

>> Sharing Snapchat images and videos without consent is illegal <<

Romance is DEAD.

I think that’s what really grates on me and why I don’t bother with dating in London, where is the romancing and impressing?

I swear I think I am supposed to sit in my house and wait, expecting that one day Chip or Anthony Joshua will just fly through the living room window and be like “Hey princess I heard you was waiting for me” and just throw confetti and roses at me. We can all dream right?

What did they put in the water or the vaccine? Because there has been a huge shitty shift in the way we date and the talent available in London.

I don’t want to sound like a bore, I mean I do constantly say this same stuff to my friends but I am sick of it. Dating hasn’t been fun at all, I’ve tried the whole positive mindset and attitude toward it but at the same time I can’t let a man take me for ediat or let me pay half on the first date, sorry not sorry.

Dating in London: Why it’s DEAD!

After careful consideration, and a reality check that Chip is 100 percent not entering my living room on a flying carpet ready to show me a whole new world like I’m Princess Jasmine – I would now like to put myself forward for an arranged marriage in 2024, I am no longer dating in London. Can someone direct me to a rich guy that doesn’t want to spend anytime with me and wants me to bear children and have my own life and will invest into a family business under my name?

Please let him know I am available for sexual relations on Friday and Saturday, and as a shoulder to cry on and provide emotional support and ego stroking on a Thursday and Sunday. I am happy to arrange a payment plan for the children without getting the CSA involved.

Much appreciated xoxo

Sidenote: Sarcasm is a language I speak quite well, as much as there is a lot of truth in my experiences when dating in London, take this with a pinch of salt. I sincerely hope dating goes well for you.

Stay safe and take care,

Sammi xx

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Dating in London: Why it’s DEAD!