Wednesday 9th January 2019
The B Word live was brought to us by Bitchy Online, The Beat 103.6 FM & Music in Motion.
Me and Sophie was there for soundcheck, she was sorting things out, while I chatted to Ellie of Bad Orange PR – She took some proper nice photos of me (BAE<3)
Guests started piling in around 8pm while DJ Henrie was giving us good vibes with some old skool bangers like Ghetto Romance and then switching it up with some M-I-S TO THE T!
I met the beautiful Tashan, one of the performers on the night and she was telling me a bit about her personal journey, deciding to come to London and pursue her music career. I couldn’t help but stare at her beautiful smile, she was glowing and so easy to talk too.
Sophie was whizzing around doing her thing making sure the panelists were comfortable and everyone was on job!
We were then introduced to the panel;
L Momrelle – Sound engineer & music producer who is currently building a music school.
Femi Oyeniran – Actor and director who first emerged on the scene as a performer in both Kidulthood and the film’s sequel, Adulthood. Oyeniran scored a surprise hit two years ago with gangland thriller, The Intent. He recently returned to that world with the prequel The Intent 2: The Come Up
Jourdan Riane – A fast-rising model, who has also carved out a name for herself on social media, especially on Instagram and Youtube. When she was younger, Jourdan would often write poetry, she also had some of her work published.
Marcel Somerville – Also known as Rocky B an English rapper, DJ, and record producer and former member of 10-piece UK hip hop group Blazin’ Squad. He is the founder and producer of Dmod and has appeared in reality TV shows The Games and as a finalist on the third series of Love Island
There were a range of topics that Wardah Sempa and Nobere covered, some great conversations were had and Zeze Millz definitely stuck out for me with some of her controversial opinions, but I found her seriously relatable!
Topic 1: Are couple goal posts giving a fake reality to relationships?
The heat was on Marcel, and the audience really listened to what he had to say, in light of his relationship with Love Island star Gabby Allen, he didn’t go in to detail about this but he said ‘Insta goals are not always what they seem, you won’t ever really know what is going on, you could post a happy picture ad within the next 15 minutes you could be having an argument, but I wouldn’t post about that or about any arguments with a girlfriend’
Zeze Millz then fired back saying that because you don’t post any bad times, you’re then giving all your followers a false reality that everything is perfect. She then questioned Marcel ‘Isn’t that your own fault for not being real with your followers?’
He replied back with ‘Na na, if media platforms like the daily mail etc post those happy pictures, they are not aware of what is going on on a personal level and then it creates an image that you have to maintain, I probably would have left the relationship earlier than I did with Gabby, but it was hard because you then have a duty to maintain as an influencer and my mum liked Gabby a lot. There were a lot of different pressures’
The hosts then went to Jourdan Riane who made a really valid point that;
‘The way it is now in this world of social media, it is near enough impossible to post the truth. You can be brutally honest but people take what they want from it and from their own perspective and mindset. You can post a picture and its immediately warped’
Femi Oyeniran added that ‘We need to stop relying on social media and the internet’ and I really do believe that we do, although its useful for content marketing and a great way to keep in touch with friends and family, it should not be heavily relied on and taken in moderation because I have personally been subject to feeling negative and drained due to excessive use of social media and its unrealistic expectations.
The topic then took a fiery turn to a debate about Jay-z & Beyonce’s branding with Zeze Millz stating that ‘they both built themselves up to a level where they could then come together and build their brand, years down the line now they are a solid brand together’
My thoughts were inline with Zeze’s about this but I do think that they are both equally as valuable as their own branded person… does that make sense?
L Momrelle then gave us the statement of the night
‘Whatever you post on insta is your own bludclart business!’
Topic 2: In light of the recent trends does music talent actually matter?
Nobere went to Jourdan Riane first and heres what she had to say;
‘There is no price you could put to make me make a song, my interest is not there. I’m not going to force myself to do something I don’t want to do, and doesn’t interest me, for money.’
Wardah Sempa then took the question to the audience and there was a guy called Fester who I believe is from Mud Family, he highlighted that;
‘Video stole radio and on instagram there is a separation of haters and jealousy, people are portraying that they are better than everyone else and thats not the case.’
The panel then mentioned Erin Budina, a few of the comments I heard were that she isn’t talented and its a joke that she went viral, but on the other hand she was praised because her marketing was really on point, she has educated herself to market herself so efficiently that I feel strongly about praising her for that, I don’t really like to say that someone isn’t talented because there is no definition of creativity, anyone can create whatever they want and shouldn’t be put down for their type of art form whether it lives up to a certain standard or not.
There were a few more comments from the audience and the panel but it seemed clear to me that to the average music market it doesn’t really matter, but to the music consumers that have a deep passion there is a mix between talent and virability – in the world we live in today it is annoying that there are musicians and artists that have been doing music for the longest and have received no love, support or creditation, but to be successful in the music industry and to be heard and seen, you really do have to educate yourself with marketing on social media or pay a company to sort out your marketing, I think its just about finding that knowledge, educating yourself and looking at what suits you as an artist, defining what message you put out with your music and really having a plan. The artists that are one hit wonders or have rare breakthroughs are exactly that – RARE or one hit wonders.
Topic 3: Is being a lady out of fashion?
Nobere kicked off the conversation;
‘For example when young girls were growing up they wanted to be princesses wanted to be classy, used to blast man in raves, didn’t wanna give out your number, everything was about being regal and classy. In todays age do you think being a lady is out of fashion? Now its all about being a bad bitch, you’ve got websites telling you how to be a side chick.’
Wardah Sempa – My question is, what in a mans head, is being a lady?
‘Being a lady is what you ladies say it is’
(LOL SMART SMART ANSWER)
On one hand you have Cardi B, being talked about for giving fellatio, people love her because she is real and honest, BUT she’s just talking about sucking dick, what is honest and real about that? On the other hand Chaka bars puts up ‘I’m a queen as well you must treat me like a queen.’ So I’m confused as a man, what is going on, are we sucking dick or we giving you a crown?
‘I think where its becoming confusing, especially for men, is that as women we keep changing our mind as to what being a lady is, back in the day a man would see a lady as uno… you would provide for and protect women. But we’ve now come with this liberation of fuck this, we don’t need that, we can provide for ourselves, we can do this, I don’t need no man dadadada, that makes men confused because it’s like when I was growing up, a lady carried herself in a certain way and I’m confused at what a lady is, OK, I don’t even know what a lady is anymore.
As a woman, one minute were like we wanna be independent we don’t want a man we don’t need anyone to provide for us. But then you want this guy to open the door for you, still want him to pay for your meals and look after you, still want him to change your tyres when you can’t. Me personally though, I am all for the old fashioned way of gender roles.
I think we’ve gone way far to the left with equality, I’m for the old state of equality, when feminists first came around feminism was to do with we couldn’t vote, we wasn’t equal or equally paid and all this new feminism that is coming in now, I’m not necessarily for it because I do think it is confusing to men, men don’t know where they stand, and its detrimental to men as well and us women making them feel like men.
I wanna be looked after, I wanna play my role as a women, I think thats why also we have problems in relationships because we don’t know where we stand, a man doesn’t know what he’s supposed to, a woman doesn’t know what she is supposed to do, you still want your man to take the trash out but you don’t want him to do this or that.’
‘I don’t think being a lady is out of fashion, I would use the term RARE. I don’t necessarily think its gone, I think its hard to come by now, by definition, just being a lady in general, is a more formal way of literally saying a woman, I feel like over the years our interpretation, our understanding, and the way we portray being a lady has completely changed. I think women have gone quite far left in certain aspects, but at the same time I do think women have the responsibility to maybe make it more clearer, I do think theres quite a lot of lines that have been blurred, example I wanna be a woman, but I wanna be a bad bitch, I want him to do this and I don’t want him to be that. I. understand that but at the same time the way society can be right now it doesn’t apply to every man the same way it doesn’t go to every woman. It seems now though that the man would rather go for the bad bitch option instead of the lady or the classier woman option. They might sit there and say oh I want a really classy lady but the person they end up with or constantly go to is the bad bitch, so i’m not surprised that women have blurred the lines and gone left.’
‘If a female wants to be proper out there thats her choice init, but as the man its up to you to choose what you want, if you don’t want your girl to be fully out there like that then just don’t pick that girl init.’
Zeze millz – BUT What is fully out there? I need definitions on all these things!
(my kinda girl)
‘I feel like everyones different, so you’re fully out there is different from a next girls fully out there init. I can’t say like one thing is completely out there coz some man might think thats alright, but for me personally I’ve got my standards, I wouldn’t really want to be with someone that’s going to keep breaking those standards.
And to be fair it changes with every relationship because you might be with one person and its not an issue, then you meet a next person and its like an issue you never even thought about before.’
‘I’m gonna go back to what everyone says, everyone has got a type at the end of the day, some men are gonna want a certain type, theres no wrong answer and theres no right. But what I am gonna say is that women should do exactly what they want to do, there is always going to be a man for you, do you understand what I’m saying? For me personally, when it comes to women I am always like if you wanna be quiet, be quiet and if you wanna be loud then be loud, there is always going to be a man for you.’
‘Ladies do what you want to do, but don’t you think that if by just doing what you want to do, like your saying if I act in a particular way, eg Cardi B – If I am going to do that then she can get any man, now the man that she did get? The sort of guy that she did get, look at what happened…
So do you think that the way you behave, you are going to attract that particular guy?’
‘You gotta think of it like this, were saying guys go for their certain types, but at the same type women go for their certain types and they will act in a certain way to get that kind of brudda.’
Femi Oyeniran –
‘Women choose you know!’
‘Women act how you want, but be prepared for the repercussions, so I use myself as an example,
I am how I want to be, I am very outspoken, I talk about giving head, I talk about receiving head, I might talk about oh yh the other day I had a threesome, I did this dadadada, thats me being who I want to be – I will say what I want, but I understand the repercussions that I might not necessarily find the guy that I want.’
‘Has that affected your relationships? Are men afraid to approach you?’
‘Yes certain guys are not going to want a girl like me, but I have to know that how I am there is going to be a repercussion, I am not going to necessarily get, but if I am OK with that then I will continue to be how I am, however, if I know that I want a certain type of guy and I wanna settle down there are going to be some things that I might have to change about myself, and thats just being realistic as women we need to understand that. If I’m out here saying I’ve done this and done that, certain man are not gonna like that and I have to live with that.
We are not built the same as men! The simple fact that women can bear a child and they can’t lets us know that were not the same.’
The panel closed the conversation with thank you’s and it was approaching Wardah Sempah’s birthday so DJ Knox started playing some bangers while we all took in the heat and controversy of the conversation we just listened to, got a drink and waited for the artists to come on and perform.
First up was Tashan who I met earlier on at the event, but I had no clue about her music style and sound so it was nice to be introduced to something new!
Dotty was up next with some fresh flows and bars, one for the underground vibes.
Last but not least and my FAVE!
I got to catch up a little with the amazing Shan Brown, who has been working closely with the girls and moving through music with her videos at an extremely impressive rate.
DJ knox was on and then it hit 12!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY WARDAH!!